I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HUNDRED OF METERS UNDER THE SEA, THERE IS A LIVING BEING THAT IS LITERALLY JUST A FLOATING BUTT
IT’S CALLED THE PIGBUTT WORM I JUST SHOWED IT TO MY PARENTS I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE
Hundred meters under the sea scientists have discovered
dat booty had me like
imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off
PLOT TWIST: YOU HAVE NO ARMS
okay so my mum is ill and i had to change my sister’s nappy. And well everything was going well until my brother nearly passed out cuz of the smell…shit got on his hand and he started freaking out and cuz of that, he let go of the nappy and it got my face and there’s shit EVERYWHERE on the floor now and now IM FREAKING OUT CUZ I HAVE TO FUCKING CLEAN ALL OF IT UP AND ITS SO DISGUSTING AND NOW I KNOW THAT IM GOING TO SUCK AT PARENTING
if i give you my food then that either means that i like you or it means that im secretly trying to gain your trust so that one day i can poison my food and give it to you.
have you ever got attached to someone who don’t know you very well but you you have like a crush on them and then all of a sudden they just stop talking to you and you’re just like I’m sorry I tried to bother you with my friendship.
SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.
Want to masturbate? Shower.
want to sing and sound good? shower
want to feel like a god and provide rain to the colonies of lice on your head? Shower